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E18: Comparison: You Do You

E18: Comparison: You Do You

 
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Forgive typos and odd grammatical mistakes—this was transcribed using the magic of AI, and while it’s insanely awesome, it’s not perfect.

[00:00:00] Welcome back to the I Hear You podcast. Today, we’re talking about comparison, a sneaky little devil that seems harmless enough on the surface, but is often the underlying cause of shame, discouragement, playing small, dragging other people down or simply not living the powerful, productive, connected life we’re all capable of.

[00:00:23] Now, if you truly don’t care about what other people think of you and you live your life free of shame and fear or feelings of not being good enough, then you can skip this episode. For the rest of you, stick around. I think you’ll find today’s episode inspiring.

[00:00:57] Earlier this week, I was taking a few minutes to meditate. It’s one of the pieces of my morning routine, which I swear by having a solid morning routine. If you don’t already check out the article on my website titled Why I Swear by Having a Solid Morning Routine, because it’s such a powerful way to start your day and it helps you accomplish so much more than really you probably ever thought possible.

[00:01:24] But I digress. I was I was meditating as part of my morning routine, it’s just five minutes every morning. And I’m using an app called Calm. I don’t subscribe to it because I think it’s too expensive, but they have just a very simple non guided meditation that’s five minutes.

[00:01:39] But what I like about it is that at the end of those five minutes, it pops up a little a little image. It’s like a photo with a quote on it and they’re often quite inspiring. And last week when I finished meditating, I looked up, opened up the app to look at the picture and it had a quote from an old Zen shin teaching. And it said, A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it, it just blooms.

[00:02:09] I really like that because it’s so simple and so true. Flowers don’t think, at least not not in the way that we humans do. They don’t look at the flower next to it that got a head start and go, “oh, shoot. They look so much more beautiful than I do. Why do I bother even flowering?” Or maybe they look at the one next to them and think, “I’m so much better than that one. Gee, I look amazing.” And they are suddenly pumped up with all of this pride. They don’t do that, they just bloom. They just do what they’re supposed to do. And they do it well. And they bring a lot of joy to those people who walk by.

[00:02:48] And that got me thinking, how often do I compare myself to other people? How often am I looking at somebody else and looking at their success and thinking, wow, that’s amazing, good for them. Or thinking, gee, I wish I had that. Aw man, I was trying so hard, I was fighting for that. And they got it first, that sucks, that’s not fair. Where do my thoughts go? Because I and we interact with people every single day.

[00:03:19] Unless you’re living up in a cabin somewhere in the mountains, you’re talking with people and it’s difficult, if not impossible to not compare ourselves to other people. And as I thought more about it, I realized comparison is at the root of a lot of pain. It’s at the root of a lot of missed opportunity, a lot of squandered talent and energy.

3 Ways Comparison Causes Damage 

[00:03:46] Really, comparison causes damage in three primary ways. The first way it can cause damage is that it can lead us to fear that we’re not good enough, so we don’t even try. We just stop what we’re doing or we don’t even start doing something we wanted to do because we’re afraid that we’re not good enough or someone else is better than us.

[00:04:07] The second way that comparison can cause damage is that it can lead us to fear other’s success. We feel like if someone else is successful, that’s preventing our own success, so often we tear them down. We criticize their work or their accomplishments. It’s not a fun place to be.

[00:04:27] And the third way that comparison can cause damage, is it can lead us to fear that we’re too good. Which then in turn might cause us to slow our progress or stop altogether. We don’t want to quote unquote, make other people feel bad. And so we hide our light and we play small and don’t accomplish everything that we can. We don’t live up to our full potential because we’re afraid that we are too good, that we are accomplishing too much and that that is somehow hurting other people.

[00:05:00] So I want to explore each of these three areas a little deeper. And as we do so, I want you to think to yourself about where you typically go if and when you compare yourselves to others. How do you typically show up? Which of these three harmful thoughts is most prevalent in your mind?

Thought #1: We’re Not Good Enough

[00:05:21] OK. Comparison thought number one, we fear that we’re not good enough.

[00:05:26] Now, I am going to put a bit of a fun positive spin on this one for a moment, because my mother is actually working on a whole series of children’s books that teach children powerful emotional health principles. Frankly, they teach the principles that I teach on this podcast. They teach the principles that I teach in my book, I Hear You, and they are incredible. Clearly I’m biased, she’s my mother. But if I’m being totally honest, I don’t have to take time to plug those books or that series on my podcast if I don’t want to.

[00:06:00] I am being 100% sincere when I say these books are life changing. And her first book is called Compare Bear’s Double Dare. So the series is EQ Explorers, meaning emotional quotient explorers, helping children learn these valuable emotional skills. And they each take one topic like comparison like we’re talking about today, and they break it down as such a simple way so that little children can learn these powerful principles of truth.

[00:06:33] Now in Compare Bear’s Double Dare, there’s this little boy who is walking through the woods and he sees this bear in the bushes. And at first he’s a little scared, but it’s a cartoon, I wouldn’t advise this in real life. But the kid approaches the bear and they start talking. And the kid is very brave and he’s very just excited to live life. He’s so excited to meet this bear.

[00:06:57] And as they go through the book, the kid is saying, “wow, could you just roar for me? I’ve heard that bear’s roars are so loud and so powerful.” And this bear, his name is Compare. He says, “well no. I stopped roaring along time ago.” And the little kid says,”well, why?”

[00:07:17] And he says, “well, I used to love roaring, until I heard birds chirping and I realized that their voices were so much prettier than mine. They’re so much more pleasant than my roar. So I just stopped roaring.” And the little boys, like, “what are you talking about?” All of the sudden, this bear’s mouth, his snout rather changes and in a puff of smoke to be a little bird beak.

[00:07:43] And it’s really funny picture because you can imagine, he’s a very chubby, cute little cartoon bear. And suddenly he has a bird’s beak for a snout. And you know, of course, they’re both kind of confused, but they just keep going through their journey. And then the boy says, “hey, how about we race? I heard bears can run really quickly!”

[00:08:02] And the bear says, “Well, no. I used to love to run. But then I saw a coyote run and man, they can run so much faster! So I just stopped running. I feel like it’s not worth it anymore because I can’t run as fast as them.”

[00:08:16] And then guess what happens? Poof. Suddenly. Compare Bear’s legs change from being bear legs into little coyote legs. And again, it looks super funny. And so they start going through this story and the little boy says, “oh, my gosh, Compare. I think I know what’s happening, every time you compare yourself to another animal. You start to become a little bit more like them and a little bit less like you.”

[00:08:40] And as they go through, he compares himself to ducks, I believe it is, that can swim better and his arms turn into a little duck wings. And by the end of the story, he’s this really funny looking bear. He’s not at all himself. And the final message is the boy challenging him to be himself, to own up to what he loves to do and do it regardless of how other animals do it. And as he does that, his physical features start to change back to being normal for the bear. It’s a very cute story and it really drives home the point that I’m trying to make here.

[00:09:18] And that’s that if we’re not careful when we compare ourselves to other people, it stops us from doing what we love. And perhaps more importantly, it can stop us from doing what we’re meant to do. It can stop us from helping people, it can stop us from creating amazing content, amazing music, writing a book, painting a picture, whatever is for you.

[00:09:44] If we’re not careful comparison, can damn us, it can stop us. And it’s funny because my wife and I have both read this book and we oftentimes will call each other out. If I’m comparing myself to somebody and oftentimes it’s subtle, I don’t even realize it. My wife will say, “Are you being a compare bear right now?” We kind of laugh it off because it’s a children’s book, and yet it is a powerful way to bring awareness back to the fact that, yeah, you’re right. I am comparing myself and this is not helping me right now. It’s an invitation to step out of it.

[00:10:21] So my question for you on this topic is, is there something that you enjoy doing or would like to try doing, but you’ve not because you’re afraid? And if the answer to that is yes, then the follow up question is, is there any part of you that is afraid to do it because of how someone else is doing it? Is there something that you want to do, but then you think.. But I’m not going to do it as well as Jane down the street or I’m not going to do it as well as that author or that person up there?

[00:10:53] If that’s stopping you, stop it. Stop the thought process and start doing what you want to do. Easier said than done, sure. And yet at the end of the day, in this particular area, it really is that simple. Now, most of us, this fear is triggered by comparison, but it’s fueled by a deeper underlying fear. And these are what are known as faulty core beliefs. They’re thoughts that cut right to our core that live in our core. They’re things like, I’m not good enough. I’m not lovable. I’m not pretty enough. But really that feeling of I’m not enough-ness oftentimes is at the core of a lot of this.

[00:11:38] So there’s bound to be opportunity to dive in and heal some of that there, but at the very least, take a look at the surface level topic of my comparing myself to this person and am I letting that stop me from being me? Am I letting that stop me from doing what I want to do or what I know I’m here to do on this Earth?

Thought #2: Success of Another Prevents Our Own

[00:11:57] OK. Comparison thought number two. We fear that other success prevents our own.

[00:12:05] Life is not a zero-sum game. And if you’re not familiar with that term zero sum, it’s essentially a situation where whatever is gained by one side is lost by the other. You know, a basketball game is a zero sum game, meaning both teams can’t win. One team wins, one team loses, that’s how the game is. Life is not like that. In other words, there isn’t a preset amount of winners that are allowed to come from this earth and everybody else has to be a loser. There is infinite potential in this world for success and for happiness and for accomplishment and achievement.

[00:12:45] And yet sometimes we lose sight of that truth. It’s easy, unfortunately, to slip into this distorted thinking, (from last week’s episode on distortion) and seeing somebody else succeed and thinking, dang it, I wanted to succeed, but now that they have, I can’t. Now, rarely are you going to catch yourself actually saying it that explicitly, but I’m willing to bet you’ve thought that more than once.

[00:13:16] So I ask you a question. Look inward a little bit here for a moment, do you ever have the tendency to pull other people down? Or to minimize their accomplishments? Can you think of a moment where somebody shared something exciting with you? Perhaps it’s something that you also are working toward. How did you respond in that moment? Even just mentally in your own mind? How did you respond? Were you genuinely happy for them and excited for their success? Or was there a part of you that was jealous? Was there a part of you that wanted to minimize their accomplishments because you felt threatened by it? If so, again, I invite you to ask, well, where does that feeling come from? And again, chances are it comes from that deeper feeling of not being good enough. Not feeling loved enough. Not feeling lovable. Whatever it is.

[00:14:08] So we’re definitely going to have a future episode on faulty core beliefs because there’s a lot of value in unpacking that a little bit more. Today, I’m gonna leave it at that, though. And again, invite you to ask these discovery questions.

[00:14:22] Let’s look at a couple examples here. Let’s say that your friend met someone, you know, you’re both single and you’ve been dating. Eventually your friend meets someone, a fantastic person. They’re attractive, they’re kind, emotionally healthy, driven, funny. Literally the perfect partner, at least on paper. Are you happy for them or are you resenting them for it?

[00:14:47] Now, I do want to take a moment here to validate the sadness that you might feel here in this hypothetical situation. If you’ve been best friends since childhood and now they’re getting married, then yes, that’s sad. And it’s important that you mourn that. It’s important that you stay in touch with your emotions and that you validate yourself. And it’s important to keep an eye out for any distortion that might come in. Because if you start resenting your friend or their partner, check it. Because do you really think that their finding an amazing partner reduces your chances of finding one? There are over 7 billion people in this world. I’m pretty sure there’s more than just one attractive, sharp, kind, loving person for you to connect with.

[00:15:33] Now, if you are in this situation, I can empathize with you. I’ve been there. I did enjoy dating, but I really hated that constant wonder, that constant fear of gee, am I ever really going to find somebody that I truly love, somebody that truly loves me. I won’t go down that road or get off on that tangent right now. But bringing it back to the point that I’m trying to make here is that, again, life is not a zero sum game. Dating is not a zero sum game, though sometimes it can certainly feel that way. It might be zero sum if you live in a tiny town and there is literally only one man there or one woman there, and then your friend marries that person, OK, well, then you probably need to move out and broaden your circle.

[00:16:16] But if you look at it as life and at the world, there is truly infinite possibility. Maybe we take it out of dating for a moment. Take it into the workplace. Your coworker gets a promotion that you were vying for. Yes, that’s a major bummer. And again, it’s normal to be sad, even angry. You just want to make sure that you know what your sadness and anger is about. If you’re sad because you didn’t get the job. Great, that’s based in truth. Feel it. If it’s anger because there was some illegal discrimination against you, feel it, do something about it. Anger, sadness they’re not bad. But if the anger is toward your coworker because they quote unquote, took the opportunity from you, that’s distorted thinking.

[00:17:08] Do you see it?

[00:17:10] If there’s any part of you that’s buying into the distorted belief that because your colleague got promoted, you can’t be happy, that’s zero sum thinking and it’s not true. You can still be happy, No, you can’t get that exact job anymore because the seats filled. And if that’s what you’re focusing and basing all of your happiness off of, you’re gonna want to change that because you’re not going to be a very happy.

[00:17:35] But the reality is, you can be happy for your coworker and disappointed that you didn’t get it and enjoy life, you can mourn for a moment, you can you can deal with that, you can ask questions. You might need to leave your job, you might need to go find a different path. But what I’m focusing on here is how comparing ourselves to other people can be harmful to our own happiness. And so the second harmful thought here of, well, other people’s success prevents mine.. It’s false. And that’s the second reason why you want to be careful with comparing yourself to other people.

Thought #3: We’re Too Good

[00:18:16] The third harmful thought they can come from comparison is one that you might not have thought of initially, and that’s the fear that we are too good. Let’s explore this one for a moment. What unhealthy tendency have we talked about on the show that drives this belief? If you hear someone say, well, I don’t want people to feel bad, so I don’t share my successes, where’s that coming from? Is that kindness? Is that respect? Or is it something else? It’s codependency.

[00:18:52] If you thought, that’s a codependent thought, ding ding ding, winner. Gold star for you. That’s exactly what this is. It’s feeling responsible for other people’s happiness, feeling like we have to control how we show up so that we don’t, quote, cause other people to feel bad about themselves.

[00:19:12] Again, I put that in quotes because you really can’t make somebody feel bad about themselves. Your own sharing success and excitement and accomplishing great things in life doesn’t make anybody else feel sad. It’s their interpretation of it. They are responsible for how they hold your success and you don’t have to walk around on eggshells playing small, acting dumb, limiting what you accomplish in order to be a good human being.

[00:19:48] You’ve more than likely heard the famous quote by author Marianne Williamson that says, “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It’s our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. Your playing small, does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking, so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”

[00:20:15] I love that quote. You know, to be frank, the first time that I heard it, I didn’t feel like I really agreed with the first part. Our deepest fear is that we’re powerful beyond measure. I thought to myself, well, no, that’s not true. I want to be powerful, I want to accomplish a lot.

[00:20:31] The second part of that paragraph, though, is what connected the dots for me, because I do feel like sometimes I need to play small. I have been so blessed, I have so much in life. I had a lot handed to me. I grew with an amazing family, there’s no other way around it. A lot of people in this world grow up with no family, or with abusive parents or siblings. There’s any number of horrible situations people have grown up in and thankfully, I didn’t have that. Thankfully. I have loving parents, I have loving siblings. We all get along very well. I oftentimes still shake my head and think holy cow, this is crazy that we have such close relationships with everybody, because I know that’s unique. And I’ve had moments when I felt like I had to play small, when I had to hide that.

[00:21:25] I was talking with my sister the other day. I guess this was a few months ago and she was telling me about how her roommate was going through a very difficult time with her family. From the bits and pieces that I heard, she did not have an emotionally healthy upbringing and her family was still in the thick of all the drama and the shame and the distortion and it was really causing a lot of pain for this young woman.

[00:21:54] And and my sister lives by example, she does not hide her accomplishments and she doesn’t hide the great things that are happening in her life, and her friend turned to her one afternoon when she was really struggling with something. And she said, “by the way. I’m so inspired by your family. I’m so inspired, I so appreciate you sharing with me these things because it shows me what a healthy relationship can look like. It shows me that my family doesn’t have to be this way, whether it’s my current family or the future family that I start. I realize now what can be in life. So thank you for sharing that.”

[00:22:37] And when my sister relayed that to me, that struck a chord because again, I sometimes fear sharing that success, I sometimes fear sharing the truth. And yet I realized in that moment people need to see the good in life. People can choose to take certain things and twist it in their minds and say, “yeah well, good for you. I wish I had that.” Very passive aggressive, just negative, icky mindset. Or, they can look at it in truth and go, “wow, that is cool. I don’t have that. But I want that. And now I see that it’s possible.”

[00:23:19] So my question for you is, does this resonate with you? Do you often feel like your success is pushing other people down? Do you feel like you can’t be you? You can’t be excited? You can’t dream big because other people around you are pulling you down?

[00:23:39] If that’s the case, you might need to change a few things, you might need to first change your mindset, which I’m inviting you to do right here, right now on this podcast. Opening your mindset a little bit and realizing that that’s not a healthy spot to be in, that is codependency.

Are You Keeping the Right Company?

[00:23:39] The second thing is you might want to change your company. You might want to change who you spend time with. I remember years ago this was 10 plus years ago, back when I was still in college and I was rooming with a group of great guys, there were six of us, which is crazy to me thinking back now. There were six of us in this apartment and I grew up with several of these guys throughout my entire childhood. Really great friends. Really, really great guys. And at this particular time in my life, in my family’s life, my parents company really started taking off.

[00:24:30] I grew up never wanting, and yet also my parents were very frugal and they were very hard workers. They still are very hard workers. So I learned growing up the value of hard work. And I learned to appreciate money and budgeting, being tactful and careful and living within our means. By the time I was in college, my parents company really started taking off and as a result, their income really increased. As a family, we had a lot more money than we had when I was growing up. My parents still maintain that frugal mentality while also enjoying some of the fruits of their labor. And so, you know, we got a houseboat timeshare down at Lake Powell in Utah / Arizona.

[00:25:13] And it was awesome. It was a beautiful houseboat. And I vividly remember one afternoon or one evening coming home to my apartment and showing some of my friends the houseboat that that we were going to go stay on that summer. And I was so excited, I was so invigorated, so energized by the possibility of what we had. Holy cow, this is so cool.

[00:25:31] A couple of my friends chose to view that in distortion. It triggered something inside them, and instead of being excited for me and for us, the response was negative. They said something like, well, I wish I had more money to go have a cool houseboat. You know, something like that which just immediately squashed everything. You know, it just pushed my excitement down. It pushed my energy down. It was so negative that I went back into my room and I thought, I’m not sharing anything with these guys again because I want to dream, I want to be excited and I am pushing for more in life. And if they are going to pull me back, then maybe they’re not the people that I wanted to be spending time with anymore.

[00:26:19] So while it was a very difficult decision, I decided that next week to move out, to move to a different apartment complex and it was a more expensive apartment complex. And to be clear, my parents weren’t paying for my housing or anything like that. I had to come up with the money, but I decided to move my funds around and figure out a way so that I could afford the slightly nicer apartment complex.

[00:26:44] When I told people I was moving there, I got a lot of reverse judgment from people, or a lot of judgment is what I should say from people saying “oh, you’re moving there. That’s where all the rich people are. That’s where all the tools are.” And I thought, yeah, I know, I’ve heard that. But I’m just going to see. I had a theory that maybe those people, those quote unquote, rich people weren’t as bad as everybody was thinking they were.

[00:27:11] And I can tell you, moving out and moving into that nicer apartment complex was the best decision I could have made. Because guess what? When I share that same houseboat photo with my new roommates there, who, again, I’m not talking like these like millionaire families, I’m not talking, you know, this is big time whatever. But I share that photo with them and I share the excitement, they say, “that’s awesome! That is so cool!” And they were genuinely excited for me. I could tell that it brightened their days.

[00:27:44] They were sharing in the same mindset as I was. They wanted more out of life, they were ambitious, they were driven. And it was amazing what it did to my energy and to my excitement. So, if that harmful thought number three of “I worry that I’m too goo” is always at play in your mind. First, explore it. See if you can change it, because I’m not saying you can’t spend time around people who are, I don’t want to call them low thinkers, but, you know, if they’re family members and things, you can always spend time with them.

[00:28:19] I’m not saying you need to just shoo off all your friends or your family. And yet, if you don’t also have people that are in your same wavelength that are going where you want to go or that have been where you want to go, I strongly recommend you start building some of those friendships. I strongly recommend that you surround yourself with people that you don’t have to feel bad shining in front of.

[00:28:42] So I recognize that this might sound like one giant tangent. Suddenly now Michael is preaching about surrounding himself with good people, which I am preaching that.

[00:28:52] However, bringing it back to the core topic of today’s episode, it’s all about how comparison can hurt us rather than help us. And so this final thought here of, gee, I’m too good now I don’t want to share. Well, guess what that does for connection? It shuts it down.

[00:29:09] If we’re not sharing our authentic selves with people, then we’re not connected to them. They don’t know us as our true selves. So to tie all of this together, again, summarizing the three main harmful thoughts that come when we compare ourselves with people.

[00:29:30] The first is that we’re not good enough. The second is that if they’re successful, we can’t be. And the third is we worry that we’re too good, and that we’re therefore harming these other people.

[00:29:47] Which of those three resonate most with you? Which of those three do you go to most often when you do compare yourself with people? My invitation is to answer that question. To think through a recent exchange that you had maybe this last week, because we all have that learned habit somewhere in us. And as with most everything, change starts with awareness.

Invitation

[00:30:10] So my invitation is, look at that and then take action. If you’ve stopped doing something because you fear you’re not good enough, pick a small way this week that you can start down that path.

[00:30:27] If you find yourself resenting someone because of their success, take a moment to challenge that distorted thinking, perhaps by using the mind mapping technique I talked about in the last episode and reframe that in your mind. Find a way to believe that life is not a zero-sum game, that they can be successful and you can be successful.

[00:30:50] In fact, if you wanted a little cheat there, a little way to turn that negative into a positive thought, if they succeeded at something you want to do, learn from them, ask them. Chances are good they’re gonna be more than happy to share how they got there, what they did.

[00:31:06] And you can then use that to achieve the same success. It might not be that exact same job position that you wanted. It might not be that exact same woman or man that you wanted to date that your friend got. But you can find the same success as that person that you’re talking about, that person that you’re seeing.

[00:31:25] And finally, if you find yourself playing small, practice sharing and basking in your accomplishments with a close, emotionally healthy individual. So what I mean by that is look for downplaying phrases such as “oh, it’s not that big of a deal or no, I’m not not really that great at it.” And just skip that.

[00:31:45] So, if you accomplish something, if you get something and somebody says, “oh, that’s so cool!” Say, “Thanks! I’m really proud of it.” And leave it at that. Or if somebody asks you how your day was, rather than say, “oh you know, it was kind of a normal day.” Share one thing that you’re proud of that you did that was cool. “Man I really nailed the sales call at work today, it felt really good.”

[00:32:08] And what’s going to be tricky about that is fighting your own codependency. Because the other person then still can take that and think, “gee, he’s so prideful. I can’t believe she’s saying that.” You know, that’s on them. That’s their stuff. That’s them comparing themselves to you.

[00:32:26] And so it’s this sticky dance I’m inviting you to step out of and I don’t think any of us are going to get perfect at never comparing ourselves to people. So instead work on managing those comparisons. If you’re going to be comparing people, at least make sure that it’s not negatively affecting you or negatively affecting the other person.

[00:32:49] So as we wrap up today and end it on a positive note here, you all have so much that you can do in life. And I know it sounds trite, I know it sounds cliche. I’m speaking from experience here, though, that I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m a pretty ordinary guy. I just have a lot of passion. There’s a lot that I want to do in life. And I love the power that these principles have.

[00:33:19] I certainly dealt with this comparison mindset, this imposter syndrome, when I started writing my book, when I published my podcast. When I published the Three-Minute Morning Journal. I look at the marketplace and I’m like, “Are you kidding me, Michael? There’s so many other relationship podcasts out there. Why would you even try?” “There are so many relationship books out there. Why publish this one?” You want to talk about gratitude journals, my three minute morning journal. I mean, there are millions. Thousands, thousands of these journals out on Amazon.

[00:33:51] And yet I decided to try anyway, and guess what? Life’s not a zero-sum game. I’m shocked. There are plenty of people to go around to buy my book, to listen to this podcast. There are plenty of people that keep finding my content. So if it can happen to me, it can happen to you. Quit comparing yourself to other people, step up to the life that you know you can live. It’s just happier. It’s more fun, it’s more energizing, it’s more exciting. And guess what? You’re making the world a better place.

[00:34:25] As we close this episode out, I want to thank again those of you who have left to review or rating on the show. Seeing those ratings and reading those reviews always brightens my day and they go a long way to helping other people find the show. So, as always, you can find more details on today’s topic in the show notes on my website, michaelssorensen.com and you can also contact me there or directly at michael@ihearyoubook.com Looking forward to next week.

Photo by Raquel Martínez on Unsplash

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