fbpx

E21: Faulty Core Beliefs

E21: Faulty Core Beliefs

 
Play/Pause Episode
00:00 / 00:34:36
Rewind 30 Seconds
1X

Show Notes

Episode Transcript

Forgive typos and odd grammatical mistakes—this was transcribed using the magic of AI, and while it’s insanely awesome, it’s not perfect.

[00:00:00] Welcome back to the I Hear You podcast. Today, we’re going deep. We’re talking about what psychologists and therapists refer to as false or faulty core beliefs. Faulty core beliefs are, well, exactly what they sound like. Beliefs we hold deep down inside ourselves at our core that are false. They are thoughts we believe about ourselves at the deepest level.

[00:00:00] Often thoughts we’re too afraid to allow ourselves to consciously think about because they’re often deeply painful. And we’re talking about these today because they are often the underlying cause of much of our emotional pain. And they often influence our actions in our work, in our parenting, in our romantic relationships and much more.

[00:00:45] And as with most anything in the mental and emotional worlds, freedom starts with recognizing and understanding. So today we’re going to talk about what faulty core beliefs are. We’re going to figure out where they come from. Typically. And of course, we’re going to discuss some common techniques from psychologists and therapists for healing them, for finding ways to recognize and get out of these faulty core beliefs and retrain positive, healthy beliefs. Let’s dive in.

Introduction

[00:01:36] Now, before I dive in, I want to let you know where I’m getting the bulk of today’s information from. These insights come from two primary sources. The first is from my therapist and friend, Jodi Hildebrandt. And the second is from psychologist Patrick Keelen. And while I’m relaying insight and direction from these two individuals, there is a wealth of information and research online if you’d like to go deeper. Obviously, these concepts have not come from just these two individuals, I simply like the way that they teach in the way that they relay them and I’ve used some of their teachings to help build out the outline for today’s episode. So with that, let’s dive into the lovely, lovely world of faulty core beliefs.

What Are Faulty Core Beliefs?

[00:02:19] OK. First question, what are faulty core beliefs? Well, I briefly touched on them in the intro, let’s dive a little deeper here. Faulty core beliefs are longstanding negative views about ourselves, others around us or the world. And they usually originate from some form of traumatic experience from our past. And mind you, these don’t have to be real heavy experiences such as abuse or death of a loved one. You know, some other quote unquote, major experience like that to have trauma, you know, as children, something as simple as being scolded by a parent or a teacher or being laughed at at school is not only frightening, that alone can be quite traumatic, because while we as adults might look back on that and judge our little selves and say, come on, that’s not that big of a deal, that shouldn’t be affecting me still.

[00:03:15] It’s not uncommon because as kids, those what a lot of us adults look at is simple experiences are very scary, they’re terrifying because we as children are still learning how the world works. We’re still learning our place in the world and we are still trying to figure out if we’re good enough, how we measure up, you know, whether or not we’re going to be successful. Whether we’re even going to be safe in this big, crazy, often terrifying world.

[00:03:46] And perhaps that’s a bit of a negative way to look at it. And I don’t mean to dive into that area there, but the point I’m trying to make here is a lot of our faulty core beliefs do come from our childhood.

[00:03:58] And the problem with these deep-seeded beliefs is that they’re often so deep and so scary to admit, that they’re covered up by other conscious thoughts or we hide them with our outward actions. And yet they drive some of our most destructive behavior. Faulty core beliefs play a major role in causing or maintaining various psychological issues, including depression, anxiety, substance abuse and any kind of addiction. Certainly eating disorders, you name it.

[00:04:26] If we are struggling with any kind of a psychological or emotional or mental issue, oftentimes there are core beliefs that are faulty, that are damaging, that are damning, that are fueling that unhealthy behavior. So what do faulty core beliefs look like? Well, let’s look at some examples.

Common Negative Core Beliefs About Ourselves

[00:04:51] Some of the most common negative core beliefs about ourselves, we talked about how there’s three areas, faulty core beliefs affect how we look at ourselves, how we look other people and how we look at the world. So the most common ones about ourselves include:

[00:05:09] I’m worthless.

[00:05:11] I’m not good enough.

[00:05:13] I’m bad.

[00:05:13] I am unovable.

[00:05:18] Those are not pleasant phrases. Those are not things that we want to say. I don’t even like saying them out loud on this podcast because they have power and they cut to our core. Notice those are all I am statements. They’re not saying I sometimes do bad things or sometimes I feel unlovable. It gets rid of all the sometimes and it’s very direct, it’s very absolute.

[00:05:43] I am bad, I am worthless.

Common Negative Core Beliefs About Other People

[00:05:49] Now, common faulty core beliefs about other people might include:

[00:05:54] People will hurt me.

[00:05:56] People are malicious.

[00:05:59] People can’t be trusted.

[00:06:03] Do any of those strike a chord with you?

[00:06:06] Plenty of people in this world struggle with forming relationships, maybe you get into something, you’re very good at meeting people and you go on the first few dates. Maybe you have a fling or a one night stand or whatever, but you’re terrified of getting into a committed relationship. Could that be because you hold a faulty core belief of distrust?

Common Negative Core Beliefs About the World

[00:06:32] Common negative core beliefs or faulty core beliefs about the world might include:

[00:06:38] The world is dangerous.

[00:06:38] The world is unfair.

[00:06:42] The world a scary.

[00:06:44] OK. Are you with me there? So, hopefully you can start to see what I mean here by faulty core beliefs. They’re right at the core, they’re absolute, they’re things that frankly paralyze us in so many ways in our lives if we believe them.

[00:07:01] Now, here’s one other interesting insight that I do want to throw in here from Jodi Hildebrandt. And that’s that, faulty core beliefs can also take the form of pride and self-aggrandizement. So, for example, a faulty core belief could be:

[00:07:15] I’m perfect.

[00:07:17] I deserve whatever I want.

[00:07:20] I’m better than everyone else.

[00:07:22] My needs are the only ones that matter.

[00:07:26] Now, I suspect most of you, like myself, fall into the other camp of never feeling good enough or not feeling lovable or what not. I think it’s important to point out that there are times when we can have a faulty core belief that swings to the other end of the spectrum. It’s still shame, it’s still this distorted view of reality. And yet certain people might very well buy into this faulty core belief of I deserve whatever I want. And that’s what guides them, that’s what drives them. And that’s, of course, as every bit as harmful. So whatever it is for you, we’re gonna talk about it here in just a moment. How we find those, how we dig into them. But we have to understand what they are if we ever have a hope of healing them.

[00:08:09] So I want to talk just a little bit more about how they form. We mentioned this briefly, but I want to dig a little deeper before we get into how to identify them today at this stage in our life.

[00:08:22] So we talked a bit about trauma and faulty core beliefs are fairly synonymous with shame. And so I mentioned that, you know, as an example, as children, it’s difficult for us sometimes to take feedback from a parent or direction from somebody and not feel bad about ourselves.

[00:08:41] Brené Brown defines shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. In other words, something that we’ve experienced or done or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.

[00:09:00] OK, so I want to share here a personal experience, one that goes right to one of my faulty core beliefs, and this was back when I was probably, gosh, how old was I? Six, seven, maybe eight years old, still very young, and I had done something that I knew was wrong. And you know, honestly, the older I get, I have a hard time using words like bad and good and wrong and right and all that kind of stuff.

[00:09:32] But I knew that I had done something that was harmful to myself, is what I’ll say. And I was scared. I was terrified because I didn’t know. I don’t know what to do about it, you know. And so I vividly remember walking up to my parents room. They were both in their bedroom and I knocked on the door and I was fighting back the tears. And I walked in and I told my parents what I had done. And I still vividly remember the fear that I saw in their faces.

[00:10:02] And I want to be crystal clear here that fear was because my parents loved me and I know that now as an adult.

[00:10:13] I’ve never questioned my parents love for me, at least not consciously, right, maybe, maybe in that very moment there as a 6 year old child I did. Because what happened is that they immediately came over and they comforted me and they helped me figure it out. Like, you know, don’t worry about it too much. I don’t think they said that. And of course, I laugh now because that’s an invalidating statement, right.

[00:10:13] My parents came when they consoled me and they helped me. And, you know, everything was was good. Nevertheless, as I went through my own years of therapy. And as I started digging into my past, I came back to that one moment where I still vividly remember the fear that I saw in my parents faces. And guess what this little 6 year old Michael did?

[00:10:57] He took that to mean not only did I do something bad. I took it to mean, I am bad.

[00:11:07] So seeing that fear in my parents faces, I as a little kid didn’t know how to interpret it. And even at 6 years old, I went to my core. I took it and I made it mean, I am bad. I am unworthy. You know, that underscored, you know, coming to them in the first place. I knew I was scared, but I came to them anyway. And I said, OK, well, here’s what I did. And it just reiterated this feeling in my mind of, yes, you’re not good enough, Michael.

[00:11:38] Now, I’ve been hesitant to share that here because in no way do I want to put my parents in a negative light.

[00:11:46] And if either of you are listening, mom and dad, I hope you know that I don’t hold anything against you there that you know, I’m not a parent yet. For those of you listening who don’t know that. And so I’m not going to pretend for one moment that I know the right and wrong ways to parent.

[00:12:02] What I do know is that it’s intensely and immensely difficult because we’re all humans. We’re all struggling with things in life and life is not easy. And so we’re all doing our very best and we’re all gonna make mistakes. And thank goodness for therapy, thank goodness for all kinds of other things that help us heal, because that’s also part of life, I believe.

[00:12:24] So bringing it back, though, to what we’re talking about here, that for me was one of those moments where I reiterated a faulty core belief of I’m not good enough or I’m bad. You know, those those are the two main beliefs that I felt for much of my life. And it’s not all because that one experience. I don’t know all of the experiences that have reinforced those. All I know is that they’re there.

[00:12:50] And that has been enough for me to start changing my unhealthy behaviors in my adult life now and replacing them with positive, healthy behaviors.

[00:12:59] So when we look at faulty core beliefs, I invite you to think back into your past. And see if there are any experiences that you had as a child, or as a teenager, or as an adult. I know several people who, as an adult, divorced their spouse, and almost regardless of what the reason was for the divorce and why the marriage didn’t work out, they hold a certain amount of shame inside themselves that essentially says more or less, I’m unlovable, I’m broken, there’s something wrong with me. No one’s going to love me. All of those things are faulty core beliefs and we have to change them if we want to have a healthy, happy, free life.

How Do We Identify Faulty Core Beliefs?

[00:13:46] OK, so aside from going in and sitting on a therapist couch and going through years of therapy to dig into all the annals of our history, how do we start identifying these faulty core beliefs?

[00:13:59] Well, this one is pretty simple and it’s really paying attention to anytime you start feeling shame or start acting with aggression toward yourself or others. If at any point you notice that you’re being driven by fear, by shame, if any flavor of inadequacy or I’m not enough goes through your mind, stop what you’re doing and get curious.

[00:14:25] Ask yourself questions like, why am I feeling this? Why am I reacting this way? Where is this coming from? And admittedly, if you’re not in the habit of doing this, this can be somewhat difficult to get down to the true root of the cause. Doctor’s Dennis Greenberger and Christine Padesky, authors of the book Mind Over Mood. I haven’t read it, but I’ve heard great things about it while researching this episode, they recommend what’s known as the downward arrow technique for digging deeper into these thoughts to uncover the underlying beliefs.

[00:14:56] Now, this technique is similar to the thought bubble or mind mapping technique that I recommended in an earlier episode, which I’m still a big fan of. Where  you basically take a blank sheet of paper and you write out short questions and thoughts, you know, answers like the following or answers to questions like the following. What happened? What is the situation factually? And you write that out, you circle it. Then write out, well, what does this say about me? You circle that. You draw a little line, you say, OK, if this is true, what does this say or mean about me? Do see how we’re now we’re getting into the core of this?

[00:15:41] Now on the Downward Arrow technique worksheet that they put together. It asks that question multiple times. If this is true, what does this say or mean about me? Well, it says it means this about me, OK? If this is true, what does this say or mean about me? And you keep answering that until you hit rock bottom, so to speak, until you hit the core and you go, oh, this means I’m unlovable. This means, I’m not good enough.

[00:16:09] Whatever that core belief is, I like that downward arrow technique or that mind mapping technique to help take ourselves through the process and figure out what it is underneath everything that’s actually fueling that emotion or fueling those unhealthy thoughts or behaviors.

[00:16:29] In the spirit of vulnerability, I’ll give you another personal example here and it relates to this podcast. So I hit moments sometimes partway through an episode, perhaps partway through this episode, where the thought goes through my mind, this is not very clear, Michael. This isn’t making sense. Maybe you should just not record this. Maybe you should start over,  maybe whatever. OK. And that’s an uncomfortable thought.

[00:16:55] Now, I’m tempted sometimes to just brush it over and ignore it. Suppress it, which sometimes works, right. Sometimes there’s value in just not giving too much credit or attention to certain thoughts. There are other times, though, where I am tempted to buy into it and let it paralyze me, let it stop me.

[00:17:15] So if I follow this downward arrow technique here on that particular thought, here’s how this plays out. The thought is: This is messy, this is not easy to follow.

[00:17:29] Well, what does that say or mean about me? Well, it means that I don’t know how to put together a well-thought out podcast. OK. What does that say or mean about me? Well, it means that I am not a great podcaster. OK, well, what does that say or mean about me? Well, really, what it means is I’m not good enough.

[00:17:57] You know, for me, it means if I can’t do it right, don’t do it at all, which as I keep going deeper and deeper, it comes down to that faulty core belief, that fear of if I do this, and someone doesn’t like it, that means I am not good, I’m not capable, I’m not talented, I’m not whatever. And all of those things hurt. Because I want to be loved. I want to be respected. I want to be appreciated. And so if I take I’m not good enough even one layer deeper, it comes down to. Well, then I’m not lovable. Because at the core of it all, I’m worried that if this podcast doesn’t play out well enough, if people don’t like it, that means they don’t like me. And I want to be liked, I want to be loved.

[00:18:47] We all want to be loved. The very, very core need or desire to be loved and appreciated, that’s baked into us as human beings. You can’t take that out, you certainly don’t want to try because that’s what drives us to connection, that’s what life is about, is connecting with others and building that sense of community and family. So it makes sense then if that very core desire of wanting to be loved, wanting to be enough and appreciated by people is threatened.

[00:19:20] Well, of course, I’m not going to record a podcast. Of course, I’m not going to get into a relationship, because if I have that faulty core belief in my mind of “I’m not lovable” at my core, if that person really understood me or knew me, they would not love me. Well, then why even set yourself up for the risk? Why even take the chance? Because it’s just a ticking time bomb as far as you’re concerned in that relationship or in the project that you’re working on.

[00:19:47] So I share that, you know, at risk of getting too personal. I share that because it’s in all of us and it’s important to recognize it. I’m not saying you have to psychoanalyze every thought. I’m not suggesting you have to live your life constantly scrutinizing every action, because that can be very paralyzing, too.

[00:20:07] I’m all about living a happy, engaged, energized, connected life. And oftentimes that means choosing the higher thought path. Oftentimes that means looking at the positive things in life rather than focusing on the negative.

[00:20:21] However, there are times when if we have a repeated habit, there’s a recurring problem, if there’s an addiction. If we see something in our relationships or in our work or in our own thought processes, that is not going away, that’s when you do need to look in deeper. That’s when you need to start doing some work to uncover the faulty core belief and begin the process of healing it so that you can genuinely sincerely live that freer, happier, more connected life.

[00:20:52] OK, so on the topic of healing, now that we recognize, now that we are at least are familiar with faulty core beliefs, now that we perhaps recognize them, how do we heal them?

So, What is the Process to Heal?

[00:21:04] What steps can we take to actually get out of that dark space and live that happier, healthier, more connected life?

[00:21:12] Well, first, I always recommend, again, a good therapist. I’m going to sound like a broken record here, but I’m not a therapist and I’m sharing what I’ve learned from therapy and from all of my research. Yet at the end of the day, there is a lot of work you can do on your own. But at the end of the day, it is tremendously valuable to work with someone who’s professionally trained to help you with that, because this is all immensely personal.

[00:21:38] There’s a lot of nuance to all of this. And so while I’m going to give you a few tips and tricks and steps to help heal it, if this is something that you know you’re struggling with. Please go find a good qualified therapist who can help you uncover, who can help you dig deeper. Now on to a few tips on how to heal or begin healing our faulty core beliefs.

Step #1: Uncover Them

[00:22:00] Tip number one, step number one, perhaps, is to uncover them. We’ve talked at length about this, right? Using the mind map or the downward arrow technique to explore these uncomfortable thoughts. Now, this is obviously the first step because you must be willing to sit in those uncomfortable thoughts and explore them. You’re not going to heal these by ignoring them, by pushing them down. Because if you do that. Guess what? They’re still controlling you. Now you’re just in a more dangerous spot because you’re not aware of the fact that they’re controlling you.

[00:22:32] You know, I sometimes think about it in terms of a corrupt government. You know, it’s one thing to have a clearly corrupt dictator at the top of the food chain there. Doesn’t make it any better that it’s all corrupt, but least you can look at them and you go, clearly he or she is the person who’s doing all this, and I at least know what they’re doing. It’s public and yeah, it’s horrible. And yet they’re not hiding it, we can see what’s happening. That’s not great at all.

[00:22:56] What’s worse, in my opinion, is the underground leadership that is controlling somebody at the top. So you might look at somebody at the top and think, oh, yeah, they seem like an upstanding, respectable person. But if every move, every word is being dictated by some corrupt underground group, that’s even scarier because now you don’t even know the enemy. Now you can’t pinpoint it, you don’t even know who to go after. And it’s no different with our own thoughts. There’s so much value in awareness, there’s so much value and power in placing truth around it and shining the spotlight on the real issue.

[00:23:36] And so there are going to be times when we think the issue is with someone else. When we think that the world is our problem, the world is a scary place, I can’t trust anybody. Well, we talked about that at the beginning, this episode. Is that the world’s problem? Or might there be a deeper, underlying faulty core belief inside you that’s causing you to believe that? Because to challenge the world thought for a moment, is it true that you can’t trust anyone? Is it true that nobody in this world is kind and loving? Obviously not.

[00:24:13] And so anytime you find yourself going into those absolute thoughts, that absolute thinking, that’s a red flag and a sign that you might need to dig a little deeper. So step one is to work on uncovering those thoughts and using the methods that we’ve talked about.

Step #2: Process Them

[00:24:29] Step two is to process them. Now, a common recommendation among cognitive behavioral therapists is to use what’s known as an automatic thought record for a couple of months. Now I will include a link to a downloadable, printable worksheet in the show notes for today’s episode on our website. You can go check that out.

[00:24:50] But essentially an automatic thought record is a sheet of paper. It’s hard to explain without showing it to you, that has multiple columns and it helps you take a situation or a trigger and walk you through a healthier thought process to find truth around it.

[00:25:08] So if we hearken back to an earlier episode on Truth vs. Distortion, this is where that ties in here, because faulty core beliefs are distortion. Right, they’re not truth. So this automatic thought record is really kind of a nice way. It walks you through. It says, OK. What’s the situation or the trigger? OK. What are my feelings and emotions right now? How intense are they? Alright.. What went through my mind? What disturbed me? What do those thoughts mean to me or what do they say about me? Next column is OK. Well, what are the facts? You know, what facts support this unhelpful thought? OK. Got it. What are facts that provide evidence against this unhelpful thought? It’s providing some alternative perspective here. And then alternatively, what’s a more realistic or perhaps balanced perspective here, i.e. what’s the truth of the situation? Right, inviting you to take the distorted thought and walking you through this process and change it back into a truth based thought.

[00:26:14] So, again, if this sounds like this might be helpful to you. Check out the link in the show notes where you can find a downloadable worksheet here. I like this practice, I myself don’t do it every day. I haven’t done it for months. But I do some flavor of this either in my mind or sometimes on a piece of paper doing that same mind mapping thought bubble and technique, and it is very, very freeing.

[00:26:36] OK, so if Step 1 is to uncover the thought, step 2 is to process it using something like the automatic thought record. Step 3 is the longer game.

Step #3: Build Positive Core Beliefs

[00:26:47] We talked about how faulty core beliefs oftentimes start years in our past, if not all the way back to childhood, which means they’ve had years, if not decades to solidify, to deepen. Which unfortunately means that’s going to take more than a couple of weeks or even a couple of months to undo them and to retrain them. So step three is to start that process. I say step three is build right, uncover process, then build.

[00:27:16] And what I mean by building is building positive core beliefs that counter or undo the faulty ones, the negative ones. Now, I really love again going back to the work done by doctors Dennis Greenberger and Christine Padesky. I really love something they call the core belief record. It’s a simple worksheet that helps you create a new core belief or identify a new, more positive core belief and then put evidence to support it.

[00:27:44] Now, the evidence piece is powerful, and that’s where this particular worksheet has most of its power. Because most of our life, we have reinforced the faulty core beliefs, it clouds our view of reality. We start looking at it through a distorted lens and we say, well, I’m not good enough. And then we start to latch on to all the experiences that reinforce that. And say, I see he’s not happy with you, remember that one time when she dumped you? That’s another sign that you’re not good enough. And we just layer it on to where it’s so difficult to undo.

[00:28:17] The core belief record has power because you do that same practice, but you do it deliberately and you do it with a positive, healthy belief. So this worksheet is very simple. It invites you to write out an alternative core belief that’s more balanced, more truth based, and then gradually over time, it has a whole bunch of lines all the way down the sheet, write out evidence or experiences that support that new belief.

[00:28:41] So you start going through and if you’re faulty, core belief is “I’m not lovable” or maybe, maybe let’s just go even simpler and say “I’m not good enough.” You write out, “I am enough” or you write out, “I love myself” or whatever it is for you, you figure out something that feels truthful to you when you’re in a healthy mind state. And then as you go through life, you start writing down different experiences.

[00:29:07] So if you just nail a project at work, come back home that night and write out and say, I did great work today and I got high praise from it. Write that out.

[00:29:19] And then maybe the next day or the next week you do something else and your spouse, your romantic partner tells you how much they love you, and they’re just like, Gee I just love how authentic you are. I love how you care for me. Go back and write out that evidence again. You have to be deliberate about retraining your mind here. To build out an equally strong and ultimately stronger positive core belief that can push out the negative.

[00:29:19] OK. That feels like a lot. It is a lot. And I mentioned at the beginning it’s deep thought. We’ve gone quite deep on today’s episode.

[00:30:00] So this is one of those things where, if anything about this is resonating with you, I strongly encourage you to take some time and really think about this. It’s easy, especially if you’re listening to this podcast on your way to work or back from work, as soon you get to your destination to just dive right back into normal life.

[00:30:17] And yet the principles that we’re talking about on the show, they require work, they require practice. My aim here is to put the knowledge and the information out there, hopefully to provide some insight, but at the end of the day you have to do the work and you’ve got to give it some time.

[00:30:17] So as we wrap up today, I want to turn it over to you. As we’ve been talking, what do you suspect or know is one of your faulty core beliefs? What unhealthy thought patterns do you suspect are harming you?

[00:30:57] And I’m pausing for dramatic effect here because I actually want you to listen, I actually want you to think about this.

Invitation & Wrap-Up

[00:31:03] My invitation, as always, is obvious here. Think through that, write some of these down. Or maybe just the next time you run into something, if you’re going to work today and your coworker says something stupid or something happens and you notice yourself feeling shame or bad about yourself or angry or aggressive take five minutes. Take three minutes if that’s all you can take. Grab a piece of paper and start this downward arrow process. Start this thought process and say, OK, what happened? Circle it. What does this mean about me? Circle it. If that’s true, what does that mean about me? Circle it and start looking for any possible faulty core beliefs.

[00:31:45] I’m telling you, from personal experience, this is valuable. This is helpful insight and again, I want to end the show on a positive note here. OK. This is freedom. This is not something you have to keep doing. You do not have to just marinate in your faulty core beliefs. On the contrary, most of us are doing that without knowing it, and I’m inviting you to change it. I’m inviting you to identify them, clean them out. Work with a professional if you think that will benefit you and then enjoy a freer, happier way of living life.

[00:32:21] Again it doesn’t mean it’s gonna be perfect, doesn’t mean that’s all sunshine and rainbows, like I always say. But I can say from personal experience, the stuff is freeing. This is empowering. And it’s so valuable when you can go through life and catch yourself. Sometimes you see in others and rather than causing judgement or rather than becoming judgmental. At least for me, I find what it does is it actually helps me be more compassionate for the other person.

[00:32:49] Because I can see somebody showing up in a certain way and maybe they’re being aggressive or their pride is just seething, right? Or they’re boasting and saying, look at me, I’m so amazing. And while historically I would have looked at that and just got really bothered by it. Sometimes now having the broader understanding and this this additional knowledge, I can look at it and go, yes, that bothers me and yet, I see where it’s coming from. It seems quite clear to me that this person doesn’t feel good enough, that they want to feel lovable and that’s why they’re clamoring or clawing for attention.

[00:32:49] And I come at that from a space of compassion. And that is a great way to live life. Just having a better, deeper understanding of the truth that we’re all struggling with something, we’re all doing our best in this world. We’re all trying to figure things out. And the more we can have compassion on each other, the more we can help each other and the more we can have compassion on ourselves, the better life is going to be.

[00:32:49] And that’s where we wrap up today. I’ll end with the usual request that you take a moment to leave a rating on the show or leave a review if you’re enjoying it and of course to reach out to me, if you have other questions. I would love to hear what you guys are finding as your faulty core beliefs. And then ideally, I would love to hear the positive changes that you’re making and the freedom that you’re finding as you’re working on healing those and working toward a more positive, connected life. Thank you for listening today and I will look forward to talking to you next week.

Photo by Cristian Palmer on Unsplash

Like What You Read?

Subscribe to the Blog.

Zero spam. Unsubscribe at any time. 👍🏼

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top

Join the Free Course

10 Days to Better Relationships

Each lesson is delivered fresh to your inbox each morning. ☀️

Unsubscribe at any time. 👍🏼